Family & Social Child Developement

Truth bomb; in case, no one ever mentioned it to you before, parenting is hard. You’re not the only one feeling exhausted, tired, desperate for a break or wanting to shut down once in a while. It happens to a lot of parents. From the time you birth a child to watching them grow into little individuals, parenting is filled with a fair share of challenges. As new parents, you can go through anxiety as you figure out caring for your baby and just when you think you’re done with the difficult bits that everyone warned you about, there’s always a new adventurous and challenging phase lurking around the corner.

Parenting In A Pandemic

This has been a new level of challenge. And as we find ourselves adjusting to the uncertainty that this pandemic carries with it, we seem to be stretched beyond our resources and abilities. Homeschooling or online learning might not have been on everyone’s agenda, especially while juggling full-time jobs. Additionally, we also have to worry about keeping our family physically safe as COVID cases keep rising. We don’t need an explanation to understand why parenting can be stressful. 

What does Parenting Stress feel like?

While each parent can experience stress differently, some of the most commonly experienced symptoms can look like some of these below

• Experiencing distress due to lack of resources to cope 
• Feeling incapable of caring for the children
• Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting
• Having trouble falling or staying asleep, worrying about your children
• Feeling irritable, snapping at your children more frequently than usual
• Using alcohol or other substances in attempts to cope with stress
• Experiencing guilt and doubt over not doing enough or the right thing for your children

How to deal with Parenting Stress

Acknowledge your stress 

When we are caught up in stress, it’s easy to forget that we aren’t feeling our usual selves. We might be too busy to identify and acknowledge that we’re feeling stressed and need help. Often parents try to ignore it or bury themselves in routine chores and to-dos, which can only magnify stress further. Once you allow yourself to acknowledge stress, you are more likely to take steps to control it rather than let it take control of your emotions and reactions. So the next time you feel a sudden rush of anger when you see your child has put lipstick all over your wall, acknowledge it and give yourself a minute to deal with it before you react to it. 

Address the stress

Remember that stress can make you hypersensitive to even the tiniest mishap or disappointment. Once you acknowledge that you’re stressed and that it’s impacting your emotions, have a plan for it. It can be short term solutions like asking your partner to watch the baby, heading out for a walk or taking a shower and long term help like attending therapy or making meditation a daily practice. 

Self-care

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Parenting changes your priorities in an instant, leaving you with little time for yourself. But it is important to make your health and care a priority. You can ask your partner or friends for help, while you use that time to do something for you. It can be exercise, enjoying a cup of coffee or taking a well deserved trip to the spa. You may not always find large pockets of time but start with making it a non-negotiable part of your routine. Relax and recharge.

Carry your funny bone along

We can get so caught up with getting things done, moving from one chore to the other, “parenting” our children, we often forget to have fun with our kids.  Make silly faces, entertain them with a magic trick or dance to your favourite songs together. Watch your children transform into their best selves when you make time for fun between all the to dos and mundane. Let the chores just take a back seat sometimes, while you can focus on just having fun. 

 Focus on the positives

On some days it can seem like nothing is going right. Your child is in the midst of their third meltdown, your help hasn’t showed up, there’s laundry and dishes waiting in the kitchen for you. You feel like there’s always too much to do and too little time. And then the guilt takes over. “I don’t spend enough time with my children” “ I yelled at my daughter, again”. It’s easy to wallow in doubt and guilt. But focus on all the things you’ve done right. Maybe you always read your child a book at bedtime, you cook them their favourite dishes, you ensure they get playtime every evening, you always start the day with a hug and kiss. And don’t ever forget all the little things you do to care for your children. You’re doing a great job. . 

A pandemic or not, parenting has a fair share of challenges and difficult days. The great thing about children is that they are born to adapt and thrive. A little stress can only make children more resilient, so you don’t have to turn the world upside down to create a perfect environment for them 24/7. But when you see it impacting your parenting and the atmosphere in your home, don't hesitate to ask for help. We all need a helping hand sometime to get through the hard days.