Child Developement

Alternatives to Live-in Helpers

The alternative to live-in helpers are full-time or part-time helpers who live outside the home. Costs for part-time freelance helpers would be anywhere between $15-20 per hour, usually with a minimum number of 3-4 working hours per week. Transport expenses may also need to be covered depending on how far the helper lives from your home. There are a number of 

apps and agencies to help you find a part-time helper

. Full-time live-out helpers are also gaining popularity, especially for families who dont have room for a live-in maid in their household. Full-time live-out helpers must be either Singaporean or PR. Costs would be around S$800/week, or around S$3,000 per month

• One thing I have always tried with my daughter even when she was 1 or 2 years old is to logically explain things to her. I have no clue whether she actually understood anything, but she always acted as if she did and would actually do the logical thing. Now that she has grown up, she  expects a logical explanation for everything. I have no clue whether I made her like that, or she was born like that, but I always explain things to her. I think we need to observe kids and see how they are responding to our conversations and come up with our own approaches - but definitely pay attention to see how they are reacting.
• One thing that has worked for me is to treat kids like adults. I have tried to always talk to my daughter like one and she seems to respond like an adult and seems more responsible. There will always be times when you have to put your foot down as a parent, but treating kids as adults is something that has made her more responsible. 
• I never give anything to my daughter if she throws a tantrum and asks for it. It is very important for parents to be cruel and let kids cry, but the message that needs to be conveyed to them is you will not get what you ask for if you are throwing a tantrum. During the tantrum throwing phase, I patiently explain to my daughter that because she is throwing a tantrum she will not get it what she is asking. There have been few incidents where she becomes stubborn and cries deliberately for 20 -30 minutes, but I will not budge much to chagrin of the grandparents around. We cannot get the kids to believe that throwing a tantrum is a sure shot way of getting what they want. She now understands that at least with me she will never get what she wants if she cries but on the other hand, if she is good and she asks for something, she has a better chance of getting what she wants.
• Another thing I have tried with my daughter  is to make her believe that I hate reading stories for her. We came up with an approach where every good thing she does gets her additional 10 or 20 stories and every bad thing she would get 10 or 20 stories deducted. We keep a running account of this throughout the day and end up reading the number of stories that are required to put her to bed. The number of stories that are added or subtracted would be dependent on the activity she performs. For example, if she wastes food she gets negative 50 stories, or if she lies the running count becomes zero because it is very bad based on our mutual understanding. Sana took to this surprisingly well. You could see her trying to do more good things just because she wanted me to read stories at the end of the day. I would pretend that somehow I did not want to read and she would get a lot of pleasure making me do something she believes I dont want to do. There have been instances when she would stop doing things (like crying or throwing tantrums) just because I told her she would get negative points.